Pagarnbass is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, temperamental guinea pig.

Pagarnbass created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagarnbass, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pagarnbass, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Pagarnbass' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Pagarnbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Pagarnbass in the centre of the settlement.

4. Feed all hungry sheep.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.