Sitmilrap is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, astonishing coyote.

Sitmilrap created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitmilrap, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sitmilrap, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sitmilrap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Sitmilrap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sitmilrap.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Sitmilrap in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not cook food in pots.