Madspagfas is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless raccoon.

Madspagfas created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Madspagfas, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Madspagfas, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Madspagfas' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Madspagfas' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing blue coats and balancing six lead spheres on your neck.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near gulls while wearing pink skirts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your face.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always take life seriously.