Garnurtmad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unjust human.

Garnurtmad created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Garnurtmad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Garnurtmad, it will boil you in a big pot.

Garnurtmad's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Garnurtmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Garnurtmad.

4. Never bounce near manatees.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Garnurtmad.