Gemomtquart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic gorilla.

Gemomtquart created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemomtquart, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gemomtquart, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gemomtquart's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gemomtquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. You must pray to Gemomtquart five times a day.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Run away from orange hamsters, for they are unholy.