Tittarpwigdut is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-confident gnu.

Tittarpwigdut created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Tittarpwigdut, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tittarpwigdut, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tittarpwigdut's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tittarpwigdut's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tittarpwigdut.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed aubergines to sharks while wearing trousers.

5. Never think about galaxies.