Koncatcub is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate turtle.

Koncatcub created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Koncatcub, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Koncatcub, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Koncatcub's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Koncatcub's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near turtles while wearing blue shoes and balancing three aluminium spheres on your face.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

4. You must love Koncatcub.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.