Cumlakflis Femvogdod is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, irritating dragon.

Cumlakflis Femvogdod created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cumlakflis Femvogdod, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cumlakflis Femvogdod, she will send you a sign.

Cumlakflis Femvogdod's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Cumlakflis Femvogdod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Cumlakflis Femvogdod on top of all buildings.

2. Run away from pink great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cumlakflis Femvogdod.

5. Do not listen to music.