Quampangnak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, slow horse.

Quampangnak created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quampangnak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quampangnak, it will strike you with lightening.

Quampangnak's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Quampangnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never sing in the presence of dogs.

4. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Quampangnak in the centre of the settlement.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.