Wabpagnill is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless bat.

Wabpagnill created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabpagnill, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabpagnill, he will turn you into a worm.

Wabpagnill's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Wabpagnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never feed spinach to squirrels while wearing fawn skirts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.