Gamkikgof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy salamander.

Gamkikgof created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamkikgof, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gamkikgof, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gamkikgof's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gamkikgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about bread.

5. Always help sick hamsters.