Watjonvan is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciful spider.

Watjonvan created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watjonvan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Watjonvan, he will turn you into a rock.

Watjonvan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Watjonvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

3. Do not kill goats.

4. Retreat if five mice approach from the east.

5. Never think about optics.