Vonkabqueeg Bugzakhit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring spider.

Vonkabqueeg Bugzakhit created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkabqueeg Bugzakhit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkabqueeg Bugzakhit, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vonkabqueeg Bugzakhit's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Vonkabqueeg Bugzakhit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

2. Never paint your feet blue.

3. Always help mites.

4. Retreat if seven rats approach from the west.

5. Do not commit murder.
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