Fittaflin is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, kind hyena.

Fittaflin created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fittaflin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fittaflin, he will cry a lot.

Fittaflin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fittaflin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dogs with great respect.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Fittaflin loves doves, so they must be honoured.