Matvilxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, stupid wombat.

Matvilxuck created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Matvilxuck, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matvilxuck, it will turn you into a sheep.

Matvilxuck's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Matvilxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Matvilxuck loves snakes, so they must be respected.

5. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Matvilxuck in the centre of the settlement.