Yarpmadomin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered salamander.

Yarpmadomin created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmadomin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarpmadomin, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yarpmadomin's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Yarpmadomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near turtles while wearing magenta boots and balancing seven titanium spheres on your hands.

2. Never bounce near doves.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Yarpmadomin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not make images of living things.