Bumvonkjip Pangvidjop is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, pitiless finch.

Bumvonkjip Pangvidjop created silver eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bumvonkjip Pangvidjop, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bumvonkjip Pangvidjop, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bumvonkjip Pangvidjop's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bumvonkjip Pangvidjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near squirrels while wearing brown rings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your chest.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never sprint in holy places.