Bemrengem is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, uncaring gorilla.

Bemrengem created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemrengem, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bemrengem, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bemrengem's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bemrengem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Bemrengem in the centre of the settlement.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Worship no other gods but Bemrengem.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not listen to music.