Voglakgun Stankiknatflancan Naktunlat is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Voglakgun Stankiknatflancan Naktunlat created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voglakgun Stankiknatflancan Naktunlat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Voglakgun Stankiknatflancan Naktunlat, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Voglakgun Stankiknatflancan Naktunlat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Voglakgun Stankiknatflancan Naktunlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back red.

2. Do not kill sharks.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Do not make images of living things.