Damstiggem Gunsognurt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unsympathetic butterfly.

Damstiggem Gunsognurt created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Damstiggem Gunsognurt, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Damstiggem Gunsognurt, he will torture you forever.

Damstiggem Gunsognurt's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Damstiggem Gunsognurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.