Cabbingep Gigfutvon is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, calm dugong.

Cabbingep Gigfutvon created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabbingep Gigfutvon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cabbingep Gigfutvon, she will refuse to believe in you.

Cabbingep Gigfutvon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Cabbingep Gigfutvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Never jump near goats.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help otters.

5. Never talk about fire.