Govdotcet is a god.

He takes the form of a large, sapient hedgehog.

Govdotcet created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govdotcet, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Govdotcet, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Govdotcet's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Govdotcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

3. Worship no other gods but Govdotcet.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Govdotcet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Govdotcet must be the most important thing in your life.