Likfossgemtag Cankemsab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy spider.

Likfossgemtag Cankemsab created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Likfossgemtag Cankemsab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Likfossgemtag Cankemsab, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Likfossgemtag Cankemsab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Likfossgemtag Cankemsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill pigs.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not stand on grass.