Quaftarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, merciless mole.

Quaftarp created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaftarp, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quaftarp, he will destroy your favourite star.

Quaftarp's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Quaftarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of strawberries to ants while wearing orange scarves.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Quaftarp loves rats, so they must be honoured.

5. Never feed spinach to voles while wearing black shirts.