Bigjamrull Saddibcap is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish tortoise.

Bigjamrull Saddibcap created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigjamrull Saddibcap, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bigjamrull Saddibcap, she will turn you into a goat.

Bigjamrull Saddibcap's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bigjamrull Saddibcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the north.

4. Always look after injured nematodes.

5. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.