Captettibun Stragfedjip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, smart eagle.

Captettibun Stragfedjip created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Captettibun Stragfedjip, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Captettibun Stragfedjip, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Captettibun Stragfedjip's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Captettibun Stragfedjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never feed lots of limes to monkeys while wearing mauve stockings.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Captettibun Stragfedjip on top of all buildings.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.