Mitkonlarnbinveddibjam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane tapir.

Mitkonlarnbinveddibjam created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitkonlarnbinveddibjam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mitkonlarnbinveddibjam, he will destroy your home solar system.

Mitkonlarnbinveddibjam's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Mitkonlarnbinveddibjam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Worship no other gods but Mitkonlarnbinveddibjam.