Pomabsug is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, contented bat.

Pomabsug created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomabsug, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pomabsug, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pomabsug's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Pomabsug's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never feed wheat to seals while wearing tights.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not kill mites.