Litkarfatbudjarnwap Ripfarnpan Geplunpag is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating scorpion.

Litkarfatbudjarnwap Ripfarnpan Geplunpag created the Cigar Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litkarfatbudjarnwap Ripfarnpan Geplunpag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Litkarfatbudjarnwap Ripfarnpan Geplunpag, it will destroy your home solar system.

Litkarfatbudjarnwap Ripfarnpan Geplunpag's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Litkarfatbudjarnwap Ripfarnpan Geplunpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Run away if nine snakes approach from the north.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Learn six new languages a year.