Stiklipsad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, witless gerbil.

Stiklipsad created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiklipsad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stiklipsad, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Stiklipsad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Stiklipsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill manatees.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Stiklipsad loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

4. Never sing in the presence of great tits.

5. Never talk about dark matter near eagles while wearing mauve hats.