Nelbarnrill is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, loving monkey.

Nelbarnrill created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Nelbarnrill, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nelbarnrill, he will torture you forever.

Nelbarnrill's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Nelbarnrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near squirrels while wearing violet skirts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your legs.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Feed all hungry moths.