Vonkshavbum Gupgudfon is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, uncaring dryad.

Vonkshavbum Gupgudfon created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkshavbum Gupgudfon, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonkshavbum Gupgudfon, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Vonkshavbum Gupgudfon's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Vonkshavbum Gupgudfon's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vonkshavbum Gupgudfon.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Never laugh near frogs.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.