Vagtagfar is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, proud meerkat.

Vagtagfar created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vagtagfar, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vagtagfar, she will boil you in a big pot.

Vagtagfar's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vagtagfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear indigo clothing.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat bark.