Fudbasttad Wittagjamsterbedjat is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish butterfly.

Fudbasttad Wittagjamsterbedjat created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudbasttad Wittagjamsterbedjat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fudbasttad Wittagjamsterbedjat, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Fudbasttad Wittagjamsterbedjat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fudbasttad Wittagjamsterbedjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Fudbasttad Wittagjamsterbedjat on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not shave your face.