Vonkfarnyak Narlkimstikpitvontiggeb is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy dryad.

Vonkfarnyak Narlkimstikpitvontiggeb created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfarnyak Narlkimstikpitvontiggeb, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonkfarnyak Narlkimstikpitvontiggeb, he will ignore you.

Vonkfarnyak Narlkimstikpitvontiggeb's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vonkfarnyak Narlkimstikpitvontiggeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vonkfarnyak Narlkimstikpitvontiggeb.

3. Hide if six moths approach from the south.

4. Vonkfarnyak Narlkimstikpitvontiggeb must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.