Tipfunpark is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, amazing manatee.

Tipfunpark created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipfunpark, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tipfunpark, it will turn you into a mouse.

Tipfunpark's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tipfunpark's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven nematodes approach from the west.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always treat dogs with great respect.

5. Fast once a month.