Appgubvig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, compassionate elephant.

Appgubvig created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appgubvig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Appgubvig, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Appgubvig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Appgubvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to eagles while wearing white dresses.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Appgubvig.