Fetortdum is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful jaguar.

Fetortdum created the Sunflower Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetortdum, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fetortdum, it will boil you in a big pot.

Fetortdum's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Fetortdum's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never hurt cats.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near eagles while wearing violet hats and balancing three lead spheres on your face.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Do not commit murder.