Kanspagbat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent crab.

Kanspagbat created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanspagbat, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kanspagbat, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kanspagbat's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kanspagbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Kanspagbat on top of all buildings.

5. Never eat bark.