Bongumbum is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, stupid cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bongumbum created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bongumbum, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bongumbum, he will turn you into a goat.

Bongumbum's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bongumbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention birds.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.