Dimjapdib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humane toad.

Dimjapdib created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Dimjapdib, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dimjapdib, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dimjapdib's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Dimjapdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Run away from blue aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Dimjapdib in the centre of the settlement.