Fodtithiv is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unthoughtful crane.

Fodtithiv created the Cigar Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Fodtithiv, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fodtithiv, it will destroy your home planet.

Fodtithiv's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fodtithiv's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fodtithiv.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Never write about bacteria.