Vidfighap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able cow.

Vidfighap created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidfighap, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vidfighap, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vidfighap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Vidfighap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about gravity near eagles while wearing cyan shoes and balancing seven gold spheres on your feet.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about optics.