Kappidhub is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, benevolent ant.

Kappidhub created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Kappidhub, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kappidhub, it will turn you into a slug.

Kappidhub's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kappidhub's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Never feed figs to great tits while wearing purple scarves.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Snakes are not to be trusted.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.