Fagfemsak is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, passionate monkey.

Fagfemsak created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagfemsak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fagfemsak, it will not invite you to parties.

Fagfemsak's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fagfemsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near doves while wearing black rings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your head.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fagfemsak.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never look in ponds.