Aftiknan Gaddungesshog is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable crab.

Aftiknan Gaddungesshog created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Aftiknan Gaddungesshog, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Aftiknan Gaddungesshog, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Aftiknan Gaddungesshog's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Aftiknan Gaddungesshog's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

3. Aftiknan Gaddungesshog loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near gulls while wearing violet shoes.

5. Never hurt tapirs.