Febtailton is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, intelligent slug.

Febtailton created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Febtailton, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Febtailton, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Febtailton's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Febtailton's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to rats while wearing white stockings.

5. Never think about spacetime.