Mathaparm is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, competent rhinoceros.

Mathaparm created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Mathaparm, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mathaparm, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Mathaparm's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Mathaparm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mathaparm.