Kimnaddob is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, competent grasshopper.

Kimnaddob created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimnaddob, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kimnaddob, it will turn you into a mole.

Kimnaddob's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Kimnaddob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kimnaddob.