Jopbemyart is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, grumpy monkey.

Jopbemyart created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Jopbemyart, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jopbemyart, she will turn you into a puffin.

Jopbemyart's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Jopbemyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Do not eat bread.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.