Badlog Ponkembam is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, deceitful bat.

Badlog Ponkembam created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Badlog Ponkembam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Badlog Ponkembam, he will be very unhappy.

Badlog Ponkembam's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Badlog Ponkembam's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Badlog Ponkembam's priests.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Badlog Ponkembam.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Badlog Ponkembam in the centre of the settlement.